Ask Natalie/other bullshizzzz05/29/08

ASK NATALIE

Q: So, Natalie, what do you think about this recent EXPLOSION in CGI films? As an aspiring comic artist, I find it a bit annoying (and sad) that now the "quick fix" is CGI, y'know? Like why can't things be old fashioned drawn like Hayao Miyazaki? Like I understand that its less expensive, but if the company specializes in animation wouldn't they do what ever they can to animate? It is in their field!

Oh, and just for fun, what do you think about the Hannah Montana obsession? I love how she's referred to as a rock star but all she does is lame bubble slut pop.


A: Well, first off, it was my understanding that making CGI films actually took a really long time. Looking it up, the numbers bandied about suggest that it takes at least 2-3 hours per frame (if not waaay longer), so I don't know how the "quick fix" thing is working out for them... I usually expect my quick fixes to be quick, you know? And, even though Princess Mononoke was the most expensive anime film ever made, it was CHEAPER to make than a lot of the CGI movies I looked up. You have to have the most up-to-date computer systems to do CGI, and employees who are experienced in the programs used to do computer animation.

That being said, why can't everything be old-fashioned? That is a pretty stupid question. If someone devoted their lives to animation, why WOULDN'T they want to try out all the new available technology? If you draw animation cells all day long, wouldn't you really like to try something different, and take advantage of some of the benefits of improved technology? In fact, your ol' pal Hayao Miyazaki used some computer animation in his more recent movies, so your example of old fashionedness is erroneous anyway.

Look at it this way-- when I was a young kid, and I took graphic design classes, everything was done by hand, and instead of giant font banks where you could just pull up anything and start typing away, we had sheets of rub-off letters and burnishers. Has anyone suffered by the availability of Photoshop or Illustrator? No. Does it destroy any aesthetics previously established by designers 20, 30, 40 years ago? No, because you can still make things look old fashioned, you just gained the ability to go beyond what has already been done.

Saying you don't like computer animation, and you want everything old fashioned, is like saying WAH, I WISH PEOPLE WOULDN'T MAKE ROCK MUSIC, I LIKE LAWRENCE WELK!! If you don't like it, don't watch it. Easy! Frankly, your question just sounds like sour grapes from someone who wishes everything was anime.

(NOTE TO READERS: Don't email me about anime, I actually think it is epically boring! I had to do a bunch of reading to make any kind of argument for this dude, I don't know shit about anime, I haven't even seen any anime at all since some dude I dated in high school wanted me to watch Lodoss War with him, and I almost killed myself. Sobbing tears of boredom. I don't care to watch movies, and watch animated movies even less. So I practice what I preach when I say, "If you don't like it, don't watch it!")

Regarding Hannah Montana, it takes a special kind of person to call a 15 year old girl a slut. Good luck getting any props from chicks having that attitude. Although, your statements about her kinda back up my theory that you're one of those cats who thinks that, if you don't like something, it's not legitimate. If she is making millions and millions of dollars making music and performing concerts, and is backed by a rock band, she's a rock star, sorry. She's not waiting for you to buy an album to declare her career a success.

(Write to Ask Natalie at asknatalie@nataliedee.com)

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So, I've been trying my hand at that amigurumi business lately. I KNOW, I am only the last person to jump on this trend, but I found myself with a little extra crafting time lately, so I thought I would at least give it a swing. IT IS ALWAYS GOOD TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW, OK?

Once I got the hang of that magic ring shit, it was pretty easy. HINT: Make sure you are doing single crochet right! I kept fucking up for an hour, until I backed my ass up and got my stitchtionary out, and baby-stepped my way through that shit. I just hadn't single crocheted much, okay?

Also, you gotta kinda pay attention to the pattern and stuff, and count your rows and use a stitch counter, so it is not as blank-out-in-front-of-the-TV as previous knitting/crochet projects. But it moved pretty fast, so that's good. I HATE projects that you can work on for days and days and days and still not be done. Ugh.

Anyway, these are my first two guys I made:
Hamster and Octopus

I used patterns from books for both. The hamster guy was my first one ever, and I fucked up and forgot to give him a mouth until I was 99% finished, so the mouth is a little jacked. The octopus mouth is looking pretty righteous, though. At least the hamster has that wicked little beret. Oui, oui!! My goal is to do a few of these pattern dudes and get the hang out the increases and decreases you need to do in order to make different shapes, then make my own patterns up. We'll see how that goes.

I also recently made some homemade (NO JIFFY MIX) banana-nut-coconut bread, but we ate the hell out of that before I was able to take a picture. Tonight I am having my friend over, and I am going to make some homemade (NO WHOLE FOOD MIX) falafel. If I remember I will take a picture of that. HEAVY METAL MARTHA STEWART, ACTIVATE!

I've been getting down on this housewifey bullshit lately, mainly cause the pollen outside and a heavy workload has left me pretty much housebound. It is real nice outside, but one good walk around the block leaves me wheezing like a mug.

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Speaking of housewifery, a couple weeks ago I went to my pal Jessica's to check out her garage sale, and she generously gave me a big ol' yellow plastic box containing The Betty Crocker Recipe Library, from 1971. Apparently, in 1971, people ate some fucked up stuff!!

I realize that old recipe cards are a comedic device that has been utilized before on the internet, so no need for links, guys. I thought I would share some gems with you, though, cause there were some real fucking gems!!

scrambled-eggs
I think people would be really sad if you invited them to a dinner party and served scrambled eggs! Maybe if you are thinking about serving scrambled eggs at a dinner party, you should take that scrambled egg money and just buy an extra case of Southpaw, and have a cheap ass non-dinner party.

bologna-biscuits
Cubed bologna casserole with bologna-infused biscuits. Mmmm :(

hot-in-a-bun
Sliced hot dogs with peanuts and celery and mayonaisse. Also, don't let the name fool you, this is served cold. It is just the bun that is hot.

hot-dog-cheesies
I had no idea anyone had ever actually published a recipe for Weiner Wings. It is truly a recipe that spans generations. Since the dawn of weiners, they've had wings.

OK, this blog is too long. I'm out!!




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