Blogging about blogs08/11/06

Today, I was looking at the internet over breakfast, and I somehow stumbled upon someone's blog. I can not give you too many details about the blog, because it was written in Chinese or something. I am not trying to be ethnically insensitive or anything, I just do not know enough about Asian languages to tell you definitely what kind of characters they used.

ANYWAY, the point is, there was no reason for me to be looking at the blog. I couldn't read it in a million years, it was just a link I clicked. But then something caught my eye... pictures on the blog corresponded with other pictures that were in other posts in other, different blogs. EVEN BLOGGERS IN OTHER COUNTRIES BLOG THE SAME FUCKING STORIES THAT EVERY SINGLE BLOGGER IN THIS COUNTRY BLOGS. Everybody is interested in starting a blog, but nobody is interested in posting anything different. They all just want to repost the same shit that Boing Boing posted yesterday, then Boing Boing will repost that story again in 5 months, and the cycle continues.

The point of this post is a request for the internet people of the world- if you start a blog, try to put something interesting and different on it. I know it might seem really cool to have a blog. HEY EVERYBODY, LOOK AT ME!!! I AM PART OF THE NEW MEDIA!!! I HAVE IMPORTANT THINGS TO SAY!! CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT THE TWO FACED CAT!!

I think your time should be worth more than to spend all of it just rehashing every other blog you read. The word BLOG comes from the words WEB and LOG. You're supposed to log your travels through the web, not your travels through other people's blogs. Its not a blog log. I'm just saying. This is something that bugs me everyday.

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ASK NATALIE


Q: After my last real boyfriend and I broke up 2 years ago, I rebounded by sleeping with several guys who were mostly friends of friends. I think I'm ok with the fact I was with them to make myself feel better, and by now I've stopped whoring around.

My issue is that I am really angry about these guys not being any good in bed. Because they were so selfish and lacked any skills, sex seems totally pointless to me now-- hence the newfound celibacy. The last guy was a friend of mine, who said oral wasn't "in his repertoire," which happens to be the only thing I really enjoy. So why did I go ahead with the sex knowing I wouldn't enjoy it so many times? I'm just as pissed at myself for allowing things like that to happen. Is there a way to get over this rage without a therapist?


A: Guys you sleep with once are NEVER going to be that good. They don't know what you like, they have performance anxiety, and most dudes won't go down on some chick they don't know. Would you? Not to mention that most guys who have one night stands are just about getting rutty, not so much about sweeping you off your feet. If you want to have excellent, mind blowing sex, you would be better off having sex with someone you know a little better, and who you can talk to about what you are into.

If you are mad because you don't know why you kept sleeping with all those guys anyway, you might want to talk to someone, but if you are just mad about them being lousy in the sack, either reconsider what you expect from a one night stand, or only have sex with someone you are in a relationship with, since they are usually the only guys who care about the quality of your orgasms.

Q: I am sort of just writing to occupy my time for several minutes because Iwould rather eat glass than do four seconds of real, actual work for myshitface phoney boss. Honestly, every time he comes in my office it iseverything I can do to not grab the monitor off my desk and chuck it at hisbald, shiny little head. When he fake laughs and pretends to be interested in what I did last weekend and how my classes are going, I want to throw my hot coffee at his junk.

Anyway, that's beside the point. The point is, how do I make my shitface bossrespect me? He has my goddamn resume, he knows I'm not retarded, I don't screwup anything he tells me to do, but he treats me like I am a baby monkey that can barely wipe her own ass. I would appreciate it if he asked me to do
something other than mail packages and recycle various pieces of paper forhim. I should probably have quit long ago, but I do like the job and everyoneelse at the office, except for that one asshole, who happens to be my boss andthe director of the company. What shall I do?


A: Man, you just line the ducks right up for me, huh?

It's possible that the lack of respect from your boss stems from your lack of respect for your boss. WHAT? Gasp! Could it be? Your actions actually influence the way other people treat you? You can't laze around work, admittedly doing nothing, pouting and stroking your false sense of entitlement AND get all the sweet projects from your boss? Shit. What is the world coming to?

It even seems like your boss is not a bad guy. At least he tries to engage you in conversation, unlike a lot of other company directors who'd be more likely to just spit in a subordinate's face than ask how their weekend went.

Also, lose the fucking pottymouth. I do the cussing on this site, and, quite frankly, it is just not as pretty coming out of your mouth.

Q: First of all, your site has blown my mind. Until today, I thought it was impossible for a female to be talented, funny, or smart. Now, the only way to comfort my bruised brain is to tell myself that this is the internet, and you're really just a man exploring your femininity.

Anyway, I hope you can help me with my question, since nobody else can, and its causing me some amount of stress. My question is this: How do you nail those super hard solos in Guitar Hero? For example, have you ever tried to play "Ozzy Osborn - Bark at the Moon" on Hard Difficulty? Its just insane. I've tried, but they throw in these crazy chord transfers in the middle of these super fast scales; It's enough to melt your hands off. Anyway, there's a couple songs I still can't beat because of this difficulty, could you provide any insight on how to stretch my hands to hit all five frets, or how to speed up my reflexes on the strum bar?


A: I think that it is totally awesome that you are such a huge misogynist. I thought that dudes like you didn't exist anymore, but here you are. Its like getting to talk to a brontosaurus.

I can think of a really good technique you can use to improve your grip so you can reach all the frets, and speed up your reflexes on the old strum bar, but I have a sneaking suspicion that you have already mastered it. So I suppose it will only be a matter of time before you have totally whooped Guitar Hero.

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