Dear Internet:09/09/06

Apparently, I need to write this whole thing over again. I am constantly frustrated because I can't put this shit in simple enough English. Let me lay out a time line for you--

Start of the site: Everybody is mad about me not posting a picture of myself
Redesign of the site: Included the pic of me with my face covered up, but I had my hair and glasses the old way, so I kinda looked like the main character of the site.
Earlier this week: I posted the first full face picture of myself on the internet, a joke picture nonetheless. My reasons for doing it was that a lot of people recognize me anyway, and I do public appearances, so remaining undercover seemed stupid. Immediately after, I begin to get really scuzzy e-mails from people, basically going from treating me like a person who writes weird comics and writes and tries to be funny, to treating me like a stupid slut who posted my pic to invite every man on the internet to come suck on my titties. If I wanted to be objectified, I would have come out five years ago with guns blazing, but obviously that fact didn't occur to anyone.
A couple days ago: I posted a blog (actually the blog I deleted in order to replace it with this blog), pointing out how disappointed I was in some of these people, since I was getting SO MANY E-MAILS ABOUT IT, hoping that people would just shut the hell up about it already. I laid it on on the line, and asked for it to stop. I also requested that people quit writing me to be shitty and rude in general.

You guys on top of the situation now? Straight. What I got after that blog posted was about 500 e-mails. I am not sure exactly how many, because I have not read even a fraction of them yet. About 25% of these e-mails have the subject line NOT ABOUT YOUR TITTIES. About 50% of the e-mails I have read made sweeping assumptions about my mental heath, saying that the blog post made it sound like I am depressed, and maybe I should seek mental help (but don't stop making your site!! P.S. You do have nice funbags, though!)

I'll start out by letting all you armchair psychologists know that I am probably the most well-adjusted person I know. Every morning I wake up, remember how awesome my life is, and get excited about living that day. You don't know me.

I don't vent on my blog to get attention or to get e-mails. I vent on my blog because something at work (this is my job) is bugging me, and I want to write about it to organize my own thoughts about it, and to maybe make certain trends with my coworkers (you guys) stop. I wanted you guys to quit writing me to be lecherous, quit writing me just to hear yourself type letters on your keyboard, and to quit writing me to make more demands for content on my site when my site is one of a very very small handfull that have new content 365 days a year.

I'm not quitting my site. I never mentioned or alluded to any such thing, but everyone jumps to conclusions that I am mad at you, so no more pictures for you guys. I have been doing this for longer than ANY of you would imagine. When I was a young kid, all I did was draw little pictures. Personified bubbles and trees, all that shit. When I was kid, I would sneak between classrooms and draw little pictures and little jokes in the corners of chalkboards for all kids from all the different class periods to look at. I do this because NATALIE likes it. I am not going to quit because of whatever some fucker has to say to me. I could give two shits. I do this for my own entertainment, and my own edification. My fans are just along for the ride.

Y'all thought I was funny back before the pic... I was symetrical and even-complected back then, too. It is a genetic crap shoot, though, I can't help it. If it was the other way, I would be writing right now about how you all think I am a buttertroll, anyway. There's no way to win. On the internet, you are too sexy, or a fat nasty troll. Thanks, guys.

I never really think about feminism much. I was raised by a single mother with three sisters. Where I grew up, if the ladies weren't doing it, it wasn't gonna get done. I make it a point to not floss with my vagina WOO HOO LOOKIT ME I AM A FEEEMALE WEBCOMIC, I AM A NOVELTY!!! GIRL COMIC!! NO BOYS ALLOWED! I just thought I was making something, and people liked it based on the qualities of it, and it pretty much stayed that way until this past week. One joke photo, and I am not a comic anymore, I am a cumdumpster who collects e-mails about the quality of dudes' boners, bad tat/tit puns, etc, etc. It really pointed out to me what a sausage party this all really is, cause, come on, do you think that any other webcomics have to deal with anything like this?

Everyone wondered why it took so long for me to post it. Well. This crap is why.

And all of this immediately after I posted a long blog about how important I think it is to be good to other people. When I get e-mails from people who miss the entire point of everything I have ever done, it makes me feel like I am talking to myself.

No more e-mails, guys, unless it is something important. I don't want my ego stroked, I don't want you to write to tell me I'm pretty, it makes me feel really weird, cause I don't think that should matter at all. I don't want you to write me with moral support, because I got it under control. The only person whose opinion of me matters is my own. If I go to sleep every night and know I was good, that it. That's the end of the story. Nobody else has anything else to say about it.
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