"Once you go black, you never go back."10/09/06

Here is the story of my life. Rather, here is the story of the life of my hair...

My hair is naturally a very dishwatery blonde color. It is almost grayish, not very pretty at all. I have never been fond of it. Add to this lack-of-fondness the fact that I was adopted by an Italian family shortly after I was born, and therefore surrounded by people with various lovely dark hair colors. my bland haircolor stuck out like a sore thumb. I was pretty much planning on dying my hair as soon as I knew there was such a thing.

So, on January 26, 1992, I dyed my hair for the first time. The reason I remember the date is because my mother was at a Superbowl party at the time, so I was left to my own devices for a few hours. I rode my bike down to the Rite Aid, and bought a bottle of hair dye. It was some weird copper color, and the bottle did not have enough dye to cover my whole head, so it didn't look too good. It didn't look bad, per se, but let's just say that my hairdresser, and everyone else, definitely knew for sure.

I attempted to cover up my first dye job by wearing my hair in a ponytail when my mom got home. I am not sure why I thought that a ponytail would cover it up. It DID cover it up for a minute, but then my sister started screaming NATALIE DYED HER HAIR at the top of her lungs, and I got hell for a sec. My mom is generally pretty cool, though, and didn't really give me too hard a time about it. I mean, my hair was already dyed, what could she do about it?

I continued dying my hair red for a year or so when I fell victim to what could only be described as a serendipitous prank. I bought some red hair dye, got home, dyed my hair, and when I rinsed it, my hair was jet black. Someone switched the bottles in the boxes. Initially, I was horrified, because I was NOT planning on dying it black. Then I started to dig it a little, and kept dying it.

A few times over the years, I would cut my hair pretty short and bleach the black out and make my hair a different color, but the black hair dye would beckon to me. It would contantly be in the back of my mind YOU CAN JUST GO TO WALGREENS AND GET A BOX. I SAW AN AD, IT IS ON SALE. I would always submit, so my hair has been dyed black for probably 12.5 of the last 14 years.

Recently, I did the old chop 'n' bleach, and had platinum blond hair for awhile. For about 8 or 9 months, actually, which is a record for non-black hair. I was getting a little tired of dealing with the roots, and the long involved conditioning treatments, and the weird purple shampoo and conditioner, so I decided to dye my hair my natural color. I let the roots come in, and bought a box of dye that matched it. I figured I was done with the nonsense.

The natural colored dye kinda made my hair look dry, so I thought I would maybe do a darker brown. I tried it out, and I suppose it looked OK. Then, everything went all hazy, all hazy, everyone. I came to on the floor of the basement bathroom, looking like this:

I had to take the pictures Myspace-style, since it is so uncool that is has come back around and is now cool again. We are nostalgic for the days of cool Myspace self-portraits, and now we are ironically taking them to increase our own cool quotient. I mean, even my boy Ghostface Killah has a Myspace self-portrait. His is so cool he even had to watermark that shit. I dare you to say that everything Ghostface does isn't cool as shit.

Anyway, so I dyed my hair black again. Part of me is disappointed that I couldn't stay off the black hair dye train, but the other part of me is like OH HELL YES, I AM LOOKING LIKE NORMAL AGAIN.


EDIT: Drew just read this blog post, and, upon seeing the picture of the box of Nice N Easy, commented "Hey, I know that girl! She is always in the cabinet." She is like a member of the family. Dear Nice N Easy girl, if you are reading this, you are like a long lost cousin or something. You should stop by for Christmas dinner. Just lemme know, ok?

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